“You may have gotten the idea that sex toys are weird or perverted. Who knew that they have been used cross-culturally for centuries? Sex toys offer just another set of possibilities for your sexual pleasure….Truly, this is a great time to be interested in sex toys. More quality toys are available, many of them designed and produced by women.” Staci Haines, “Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma.”
Once you’ve decided to buy a vibrator, it is time to make it happen! Have in mind a few models that interest you and why, then go visit a store that sells sex toys. In straightforward matter-of-fact language, sex-positive store employees/owners can answer questions, provide information about toys, how they function and how to care for them. Remember, I am not talking about Castle Superstore or any XXX Sleaze shop—I am referring to a sex-positive, women owned/friendly stores that carry high-end sex aids from top-quality manufacturers, such as LELO, Jimmyjane, and Je Joue.
Very simply: there is nothing that will normalize sex or buying a sex aid more than going into a place where people are comfortable talking about sex! Just being in a sex-positive store and listening to other people having matter-of-fact conversations about sexual pleasure can facilitate tremendous acceptance of the normalcy of sexual expression! You may not feel at ease on a first visit, but as you consciously work to accept normality around your sexuality, you will experience a growing sense of confidence and comfort.
Fortunately, there are more options than ever for women owned/friendly sex-positive stores! Visit any of the following (there are more out there!)
Eugene: As You Like It, The Pleasure Shop; in classic Eugene fashion, As You Like It is eco-conscious, carrying only products that are environmentally friendly and body-safe. It is woman-owned and gender inclusive, but for the newcomer, offers private shopping, store tours and very friendly and knowledgeable service. The store itself is bright, open and welcoming.
Portland: She Bop; in two locations. Though I have not been to She Bop, it is a women-friendly, sex-positive store!
Seattle: Babeland; I will always be fond of Babeland for giving me the safe space to come in, be terrified, run out—and to return with confidence—multiple times. I have always found Babeland’s staff to be welcoming, friendly and knowledgeable.
San Francisco/Oakland: Good Vibrations. The Grandmother of them all, Joani Blank started Good Vibrations in 1977 to give women a sex-positive place to purchase aids/toys for their pleasure. There are other locations nationwide.
Remember this: you don’t have to go alone! I’m happy to take friends and clients to visit “As You Like It” in Eugene, or stores in other locations as preferred. Visiting sex-positive stores can be loads of fun, liberating and empowering—and you may leave with a sex toy that will send you into orgasmic orbit! What’s not to like about that?