What does a sex coach do? Does it involve sexual contact with my coach?

Let me answer that second question first because that gets asked a lot! The answer is an emphatic "NO!" My coaching practice is "hands off-clothing on." Many of my home assignments will include sexual activities, but my clients do those activities in the privacy of their own homes. I do not engage in any form of erotic exchange with clients--ever.

As a sex coach, I use a coaching model to help clients solve current sexual concerns. Through asking questions and active listening, I help my clients to identify goals and action steps. As my clients begin taking steps, I support and guide them. Along the way, I provide education, emotional support, develop home assignments, and encourage behavioral change. Coaching works best when my clients actively participate in sessions, explore solutions to issues and complete follow-up assignments.

What kinds of issues does a sex coach deal with?

I help clients reclaim intimacy, sensual and sexual pleasure in a range of areas:

  • Become comfortable and confident talking about sex
  • Normalize sexual feelings and interests
  • Deepen intimacy with a partner
  • Restore libido and desire for sexual connection
  • Gain or regain ability to experience orgasm either alone or with a partner
  • Overcome issues of painful sex as a result of menopause (non-medical origin)*
  • Become empowered engaging in safer sex discussions with new partners and gain knowledge of safer sex methods
  • Learn about sex in aging bodies and how to continue having satisfying sex and connectivity at any age
  • Regain joyful sensual and sexual pleasure after divorce or gaps in sexual activities
  • Restore self-love and a positive body image

*In many cases, I refer clients for medical check-ups to ensure that their issues are not medically related before proceeding with coaching. I will always refer out any client presenting with unhealed sexual trauma.

How does sex coaching differ from traditional sex therapy?

Sex coaches believe that most clients are perfectly capable of resolving sexual issues and behaviors they find problematic through education, reframing negative cultural messages, developing emotional awareness, becoming more mindful about sex, completing home assignments and more. Sex coaching empowers and guides clients to achieve their desired outcomes.

Some-not all-sex therapy models see sexual issues as abnormalities that should be diagnosed and will require long-term analysis and treatment that the therapist controls. Sex therapy can spend significant time analyzing the past, rather than helping clients find solutions to present concerns. In some situations, sex therapy is more appropriate than coaching. I screen my clients carefully and will refer out if I believe a client's issues are more appropriate for therapy.

Who can benefit from sex coaching?

Any adult with intimacy and sexual concerns, including discomfort talking about sex, embarrassment over sexual likes or dislikes, low/no desire, feeling disconnected from one's partner, orgasm issues, premature ejaculation, painful sex, sexual inhibitions, body image issues, social/dating skills concerns and more. I also work with individuals and couples on communication skills, building intimacy and for for newer couples, learning how to have empowered safer sex conversations. I am lesbian/bi/gay/trans friendly, though I refer out more complex issues relating to trans concerns.

How much time will sex coaching take?

My intention is to help you resolve your concerns as quickly as possible. Collaboration is at the heart of any successful coaching relationship. I bring current knowledge, expertise, compassion and active listening skills. I ask that you candidly respond to questions, do home assignments, accept feedback and strive to meet your goals. Some clients will have one visit—others may participate in coaching for several months or more.

Learn more about sex coaching at: http://www.sexcoachu.com/#!manifesto/ccbz.

Will you speak to our group about a topic of our choosing?

I love public speaking and would be happy to talk about how I can meet your group's needs. Contact me at jas.sexcoach@gmail.com to discuss your idea(s).